These Are Life's Important Decisions

I have a new goal in life. Or a new item for my bucket list rather. I want a pet raccoon. I have been thinking about it ever since I got rid of my dog. I miss cats. And a raccoon is kind of like a cat. But better. They are cool looking and they use their hands to do some pretty cool stuff. Now, I know they are wild and could turn on me, but so could a dog. And that isn't the reason I got rid of my dog. I got rid of her because she was psychotic. But that is a whole different story. I miss having cats. They are such easy pets. They are the best to cuddle with too. And I miss them even more when I wake up with Satan on my feet or staring at me with a squeaky toy in her mouth. She has some freaky eyes. She also needs to be shaved. She sheds way to much. I suppose a Maine Coon Cat would pretty much serve the same purpose as a racoon. But they don't have the striped bushy tail and the bandit eyes. No, a raccoon is my ideal pet. That's a lie. My ideal pet is a giant panda. But that is not plausible (unfortunately). Maybe I have a thing for animals with black around their eyes. It stems from my abusive relationships. Or perhaps my tendency to gravitate towarda abusers stems from my like for the animals. But it is a bit late in the day for such intelligent philosophing. Or a bit early depending on how you look at it. Again too much. I think I am just going to stop. No need to thank me. Actually do.